i want to fly, there is my sky right above,
i want to reach it, like waves it calls to me,
i want to smile, and feel that warm joy from every core of my heart,
when i smile, i want it to rain, and feel my pain drain away,
and when i feel, i want to feel free, i want to dream..


while i dream, i want to know it is real,
more real than my betrayed dreams have felt by the reality,
i want to love, to be proud to love, to know i am right,
i wish to be loved back...
but i want my delusions banished, and not feel the pain of it,
i want to shed that last tear, like turning over a new page,
from a book never meant to be read, only understood, forgotten..


i want to run through the vast field, wind playing with my hair,
i want to laugh,sing,pray, but to thank this time...
i want to never look back, there's darkness behind,
i will never see anything, and it will only scare me,
i want to believe in the power of Good, and know my path is right,


And i open my fist, i let the feather drift away...

speaking without words..

            They had been sitting for a long time. Idle, lazy night gently fluffed by snow flakes curled around them in a familiar, homely fashion. He sat staring straight ahead. He could feel her eyes on him, but he stayed still. He was not giving in tonight. It was her fault and she was going to have to deal with it, he thought stubbornly, it was her time to apologize, they could sit here this way all night if that's what it took. 
             She looked at him with pleading eyes. There was so much that she wanted to say, but it seemed, there just wasn't enough to make anything easier, anything to solve it. She longed to entwine their fingers, his stony silence pierced deep into her heart. She knew what her mistake was, she knew what it had cost him. But her apology stuck in her throat. She couldn't speak! He sat beside her like a stranger, like he was miles away and no matter how much she called or how loud she was, he just wouldn't hear her. That thought clawed at her like sudden suffocating darkness and she shivered, trembling which had nothing whatsoever to do with the cold.
            He may have seemed preoccupied, or lost in thought, but his every breath had been taken in measures so as not to miss any response from her. So it was not surprising that her trembling snatched his eyes, after a long time that night, towards her. His arm shot out protectively towards her, wrapping around her, all this without a conscious thought, as if his body simply responded to protect hers on it's own accord. When his mind caught up with what he had just done, he stiffened, then looked into her eyes. And at that moment everything else ceased to exist for him. It was her, it was him, and that was it. He watched as her eyes turned from fearful to shocked, to confused, and now they spoke of hurt, hurt so profound it gripped his heart. He could read the apology in them, he could feel her pain for his pain, he could understand her love. A small smile of acceptance playing around his lips, his fingers brushed her tears away, ever so lightly as if they were pearls, precious! He cursed himself for bringing this pain to her! No more, he swore to himself fiercely, no more would she suffer this way again..
          She was taken aback by his embrace, her heart fluttering so loudly she was surprised he couldn't hear it! She watched his eyes stiffen slightly, and that cut her more deeply than his earlier silence had. Through that storm of confusion and hurt, she pleaded silently, she pleaded to be forgiven, to be accepted again, to wipe the hurt off from his heart! She hadn't noticed that her tears had given way until she felt his fingers wiping them off gently. She looked into his eyes and felt his forgiveness, his love, his acceptance. It was like the air around her, invisible to everyone else, but she could feel it. And her world was complete, her heart was complete, she was complete...