On the flat landing she sat, watching the waves dance in turmoil, bringing filth of years to the shore. She mused absentmindedly how something should have been done about this. The absurd timing of this thought made her laugh aloud, the expression a stranger on her tightly held facial muscles. They had been held this rigidly for as long as she could remember now. It felt like years. She wasn't always like this. Unsmiling, so devoid of expressions. If she had been devoid of emotions too then that probably would have been rather easier to bear. And also would have made her less human. No, she had been different. So, so different. Another person. This thought made her ache inside. A feeling that should have brought tears to anyone's eyes. But she was special, practiced. Only the pain in  her eyes could ever give her away.


The sea always made her think. Too deeply for comfort.There went another peaceful night then! "oh screw it ", she muttered aloud. She jumped when the sudden break of silence caught her off guard. No, that wasn't it really. It was the harshness in the voice that startled her. A velvet voice once worshiped, her voice was now strained over long harsh periods of nothingness. Feeling had been sapped from it. It was soul-less. She pondered  on how changed she was, how unbearably different! It angered her to realize how she had lost herself overtime! The stony pretense she once prided herself upon now looked more like a self-inflicted defeat. Here, from the brink of nature, where everything changed it's course every single minute, it looked like she had given up! And at what cost! She quietened her thoughts, took a few calming breaths and returned to watching the murky waters. They splashed roughly as if in conflict. She smiled, yes, they seemed to understand. Few salt drops sprinkled onto her face when a particularly huge wave crashed with the cliff.


This seemed to loosen her hold on her mask. Miraculously, a little paleness coloured with her natural pink and almost magically soothed her nerves.Her heart started beating like it hadn't for what seemed like a lifetime. It thudded, as if joyous for return of reason. She held a hand to her chest and felt her heart, so deep within her ribs yet she could feel it burning with life. While she sat thus her surrounding changed colour. Nature indeed was playing along with her mood it seemed, she mused with a smile. The setting sun threw a palate of colours wherever it's rays fell, orange, red, pink.. The waters, now calm and steady, shimmered under the brilliant blanket of rays and warmed as if in  sleepy laziness. End of another day. But it felt like a beginning to her. Things were changing. She was changing. She was healing. Suddenly the warmth wasn't only outside, a separate warmth had ignited within her. A spark now, but it would grow, she knew. Tears stung her eyes and flowed earthward to join it's family. Hope burned under her skin and desire shaped her features human again.


Yes, a change was coming..